1. |
You
04:24
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I felt your lips on mine that night and it all came back
Why do I miss them I just don’t know
I’m supposed to be over this but I guess this will
show me how grow up and I swear I am
Lips do more than talk, and I wish they'd send
shivers down my spine again
It all felt real, but for now I'll just pretend
That I'm not alone in my room
Laying awake thinking of you
Slowly breaking my mind, pretending that I'm fine
I'll just bottle it all up and stay askew
I smelled you on my hoodie that night and it all rushed in
All the nights spent in cars, that would lead me to bars
I just dwell on it all and make myself fall
For you again, when I just wanted a friend
I don't know how these feelings
Take me over
That's why it's hard to spend my nights sober
Then I'll fall asleep and I'll start all over
I'm not alone in my room
Laying awake thinking of you
Slowly breaking my mind, pretending that I'm fine
I'll just bottle it all up and stay askew
I'm counting down the days
Until I can say I'm okay
But until then I'll count the nights that I dreamt of you instead
And I'll admit that I stay alone in my room
And I'll think of you more than I'd like to
The same story repeats in my head
I'm not really alright awake in the night
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2. |
Glow
03:33
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This glow doesn't help
It probably makes it worse
Just reminds me of past bad times
And even then it still hurt
Part of me does hope you're in pain
And that your new life reminds you of me
Promises we had...just throw them out
I'm getting out
I'm tired of waking up
I wish I could just stay asleep
And just stay in my sheets
Pretending I don't have feelings
Because my mind is wrecked
I don't know if you can tell
But the smile that I fake
I hope it haunts you like hell
Just stay out of my head
Or I might beat it till I'm dead
Or at least forget all of the words that you said
I'm just done with this shit
Enjoy your your life without me
I hope maybe you'll figure out your feelings finally
I hate that my old songs are now relevant
And that I get to fall in love
with all my favorite sad songs again
I hate the minor chats we have
and all the lack of feeling
it just feels so damn unappealing
just how much I need to refrain
From pouring out my guts to you
I hope that you can feel this too
You seem so damn desensitized
You said you cared but not from where I stand
I hope my songs still keep you company
I hope that they still float on in your head
Because I still listen to them weekly
Think about you and where we were then
Just stay out of my head
Or I might beat it till I'm dead
Or at least forget all of the words that you said
I'm just done with this shit
Enjoy your your life without me
I hope maybe you'll figure out your feelings finally
And all, all that I tried
Never worked out in the end
You can believe what you want
I’ll do the same
but seeming happy I’ve had to pretend
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3. |
Butterflies
04:41
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I still get butterflies when I see you
Or maybe now they're moths
They've changed from happiness to anxiety
And now my view of reality seems flawed
Like why do these sort of things happen
And why did it happen to us
And why do I feel like blaming this whole thing onto lust
I wish I had the answers to all of our old questions
So we could have known where we stood
I just have much more time to think now
And My thoughts aren't very good
They leave me hoping you find happiness
And hoping it could have still been me
And that some day you'll meet Sophia
But the one standing there won't be me
Thanks for wanting for someone to love me
I know it's hard for you
I really did try, I promise
I'll just dive down into the blue
Where I'll find less mysteries in the depths out there
Than what's deep inside your mind
But we both know that this is over
And my life I'll try to find
I never thought falling out of love was a thing
What a naïve thought to have
And being told that felt even worse
I just grab my coffin and a hurst
And now my mind keeps racing faster and faster
I just want it to slow down
All I do is sulk alone inside there
And almost fake the fact that I'll drown
I just wish that you knew that I do love you
And even though it's good bye I'll miss what you do
Just please promise that I won't be forgotten
And don't just become just a memory that's rotten
I wish I felt closure and kept my composure
But we both know just how emotional
I can get, and if my heart ends up rupturing
I'll just blame myself in the end
Thanks for wanting for someone to love me
I know it's hard for you
I really did try, I promise
I'll just dive down into the blue
Where I'll find less mysteries in the depths out there
Than what's deep inside your mind
But we both know that this is over
And my life I'll try to find
I wish that you'd just talk to me
And we can both put down our walls
And I'll tell you what makes me sad
I hope I get a response
I just want to know you're sad
Because I feel nothing at all
All this time and effort did me in
And slowly to my grave I will crawl
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4. |
Indiana
03:51
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Strange never felt so normal
But what else could I do?
I made this decision for me
And I didn't mean to hurt you
Maybe it changed our course forever
As my tank ran empty
And I promised I'd come back
2 months of solitude sure leave you thirsty for
The feeling of wanting to be wanted
The constant strain on my voice
As I sang my lungs out in my car
Hoping you'd slowly hear me lament my choice
Of wanting to try something new
And step out of what I once knew
Indiana was colder than my heart then
And now I came back, and look at the shit we're in
A constant sweat from being cold
And trying to stay warm was getting old
If I would freeze in time that would be great
Maybe it would give me time to erase your hate
And disdain from your eyes
When I thought you supported my decisions
I know they weren't lies
You were just scared of severing ties
But I still hold my breath
Even though I'm back
That the echo’s of all of my decisions
Didn’t make this all turn black
But I'm still craving
The feeling of wanting to be wanted
The constant strain on my voice
As I sang my lungs out in my car
Hoping you'd hear me slowly lament my choice
Of wanting to try something new
And step out of what I once knew
Indiana was colder than my heart then
And now I came back, and look at the shit we're in
And there I left
In late October
I felt a lone
And getting older
These substances
Won't help me get over you
Just keep your eyes shut and sleep
I'll count the days while you count sheep
I felt so cold under my sheets
I guess I missed your warmth there next to me
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5. |
Letters
04:49
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I never blocked you from my thoughts
but God knows that I tried
This seemed easier for you
I guess you knew that we were through
I've written you plenty of letters
That I'll never send your way
I doubt you'd reciprocate the feeling
Any feeling anyway
I wish I had the guts
To scream to you how I feel
But between my angst and sadness
Being depressed is all that's real
I want out of my head
And get back into yours
I fucking hate being alone
I fucking hate all these shut doors
I really wanted to believe
All of the things you said to me
And I guess I kinda do
I'll just try not to pick and choose
What I want to believe
and what I think you meant
Just bury my feet in cement
So I can stop fighting your words in my head
I hope that when you see my face
You think of all the bad times
And pretend that I didn't try
And for the good memories we have
That you keep them tucked away
To remind you of what happy is
And think about me everyday
I can write down all my thoughts
And never tell you a thing
And if I did it wouldn't matter
Cause I know that it would bring
More misery for me to think about
Since I felt you didn't care
And having feelings wears me out
I really wanted to believe
All of the things you said to me
And I guess I kinda do
I'll just try not to pick and choose
What I want to believe
and what I think you meant
Just bury my feet in cement
So I can stop fighting your words in my head
Just let me drown
And let me sink in my apathy
Just let me drown
And I'll resurface without misery
I really wanted to believe
All of the things you said to me
And I guess I kinda do
I'll just try not to pick and choose
What I want to believe
and what I think you meant
Just bury my feet in cement
So I can stop fighting your words in my head
Just let me drown
And let me sink in my apathy
Just let me drown
And I'll resurface without misery
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